Stuck in a Hole

{source}

It seems like forever since I last posted. I have been going through a hard time and when the shit hits the fan I get quiet. It's just the way I deal with stress, I hate to complain. But I feel like I have to get this off my chest because I think a lot of artists deal with the same thing. I can't afford to support myself solely by my artwork so I work a day job. My day job has nothing to do with art or anything creative. Those kinds of jobs are few and far between in Boston. So I work corporate America for a mutual fund giant, I have been there for four years. Four years of hating every minute. I am stuck in front of a computer all day while sitting in a cubical. I set up meetings, manage calendars, answer phones, set up travel and do expense reports among other things and it crushes my spirit. It isn't what I was born to do, it doesn't make my heart sing. I come home exhausted from just trying to make it through the day. So exhausted that trying to do anything creative after work seems impossible, it just doesn't flow. But in order to live and pay my rent I have to do it. I am looking for another job and working on my portfolio but with the job market the way it is right now it doesn't look like a change for the better is going to happen soon. But I refuse to be totally hopeless- I have started playing the lottery. I know, I know but dreams sometimes come true, right? I realize that I can't depend on winning the lottery, I know the statistics. So I will have to push myself and get as much artwork done whether I am exhausted or not. I can't let this job eat me alive. What do you do to make the most of a job you don't like?

P.S. Thanks for listening to me vent.

Many hats

{source}

Being an artist is hardly straight and narrow. When I got out of photography school I wasn't able to get a job in my field in Boston and I wasn't ready to move to a bigger city at the time. So I realized I had to make a sacrifice - I needed to work outside my field of expertise (way out) and put my creative side on hold. I told myself it was temporary and as soon as I made a little money I would try again and get a creative job. It is now ten years later and I have quite the list of past occupations.

1. Veterinary Receptionist/Veterinary Technician

2. Bio-Pharma (I don't want to talk about. It's hard enough to admit to)

3. Police Dispatcher

4. Receptionist at a doctor's office

5. Receptionist at a cell phone tower company

6. Senior Administrative Assistant at a mutual fund company (current job)

I don't regret working at as a veterinary technician because it has made me a better and well educated pet owner. Being a police dispatcher taught me so much about myself and the world around me. And in both jobs I was helping people-- it was for the greater good. But I have wasted too much time working in offices shuffling papers and having my spirit crushed. I vow to finally free myself and find that creative job. I don't know exactly what I want to do but I want to go to happy place every day and create art. I am hoping that place does exist. Here marks the start of my journey.